


I Wanted to Hate You, But I Never Could

by KathPetrovaDiary



Series: F1 2018 Season [20]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Getting Back Together, Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathPetrovaDiary/pseuds/KathPetrovaDiary
Summary: Daniel had let Sebastian rage out all his feelings. Dread and fear was the logical follower.“Honestly, it’s not the smartest idea.” Daniel replied taking a firm hold of the blond’s shoulder. “But, if I were you, I would go. Show Kimi you love him and he’ll come back to you.”Set Mexico GP 2018





	I Wanted to Hate You, But I Never Could

**Author's Note:**

> All my latest stories have been based on my relationship drama so it seems XD  
> IRL it was way worse than this, but in the end all went back to normal without baggage.
> 
>  
> 
> Even though the championship is over, this series isn't yet. So don't fear the remaining three fics are still coming ;) Thank you for reading guys and girls, I really appreciate it!

Sebastian was fuming. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to slap the smug smile off Kimi’s face. “I did everything for you! This is how you thank me? A few days ago you wanted to spend the future with me and now you’re saying you hate me?!”  
Kimi avoided eye-contact. He kept walking, ignoring the man who was trying to keep up.   
“Say something! Why am I always the one who wants to talk things through? You always say you’re not in the mood. Well, I am! Now fucking talk to me or piss off!” Sebastian was panting. He couldn’t believe he had ever fallen for this prick. Kimi glanced at him shortly before grinning: “You’re not perfect, Sebastian. Don’t act like I’m the only one at fault here.”  
The German’s jaw clenched shut. “Are you serious? I sure as hell know I’m not perfect! You aren’t either, Kimi. As much as you pretend to be it.”  
Kimi halted which caused Sebastian to walk past without noticing.   
“You done?” Came the dry reply. It made the blond stop in his tracks. “I want an answer!”  
Kimi pursed his lips: “I’m starting to hate you, so leave.”  
At that Sebastian’s anger left him. Fear suddenly invaded every fiber of his being. “What?”  
“I said: leave!” Kimi pushed Sebastian who stumbled a few feet backwards.   
Impulsiveness took over. “Don’t act tough, Iceman! We all know you’re just a poser!”  
Kimi’s expression began to falter as he came up close in Sebastian’s face, but the German wasn’t backing down. “What are you going to do?”  
Kimi shook his head. “I should have never broken up with you.”  
Sebastian stood rooted in place as the Finn walked away. It was no use in following. Enough had been said. Sebastian turned around as he intended to leave the paddock as soon as possible. Screw the Shell event. Antonio could take over. He reached for his phone, dialing a familiar number.   
“Hello?”   
“Daniel? Are you still in the paddock?”  
“Yes, what happened? Seb, are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine. You want to go walk for a bit? I’ll meet you at the exit.”  
“Sure. I’ll wait there.”

As always Sebastian could count on Daniel. The Australian stood next to the gate with a smile. “Hey, you okay?”  
“Kimi and I broke up for good.” With a few words Sebastian explained everything that had happened in the past few days. How Kimi declared his love for him, to break up a few minutes after, due to Ferrari finding out. It was for Sebastian’s best, the Finn had said. He was keeping his mind of the championship fight and that had been the reason of the many mistakes. Bullshit to Sebastian. On the trip to Mexico, Sebastian had tried to get Kimi back but nothing worked. Talking to him today had even worsened it.  
Daniel listened carefully to every word. He quickly came to one definite conclusion: “He loves you and he’ll be back. Maybe not today, maybe not in a week, but he’ll come back to you.”  
“How are you so sure?” The fear had returned and Sebastian was scared to lose Kimi. Not only as a lover but as a close friend as well.  
“Because you’re each other’s soulmates. You have so much in common. You love each other and have gone through hell and back several times. You belong together.”  
Sebastian smiled at that. “Thank you, Dan. You’re a good friend.”  
“No problem, Seb! One thing though. I kind of promised Max could come with me, so if we can go pick him up in the paddock that would be great.”   
Sebastian grinned at that. “Let’s go.”

As the pair entered the paddock, they were surprised to find Kimi sitting in front of the Redbull motorhome. He knew his teammate too well. Sebastian always went to Daniel with every problem. “Are you going to go to him?” Daniel asked. Sebastian laughed loudly out of the blue, slapping the Aussie on the back.  
“Just act like we never talked about him! He deserves to feel alone.”   
Daniel followed suit and laughed. He didn’t question Sebastian’s actions. This was his decision. He simply had to play a part. As Max came over to them they were set to leave. The second the trio left the paddock, Sebastian looked over his shoulder. Kimi had been watching the whole time.

As they stood at Daniel’s hotel room, Sebastian was having doubts. Max was already in his room so the ex-teammates could talk a bit. “Should I go to the event?”  
Daniel sighed as he had expected the question. Daniel had let Sebastian rage out all his feelings. Dread and fear was the logical follower.  
“Honestly, it’s not the smartest idea.” Daniel replied taking a firm hold of the blond’s shoulder. “But, if I were you, I would go. Show him you love him and he’ll come back to you.” 

That turned out to be the only advice Sebastian needed.   
Unsure Sebastian stood in the audience of the Shell event. He was nervous that Kimi would come to him and yell. Or even worse, that Kimi wouldn’t say anything. In the end Sebastian talked to Charles and Marcus who were also present. It was a good distraction from the whole situation. Two hours later the event ended. Kimi went inside without a glance at Sebastian. The younger man was devastated. He didn’t know how to feel. That this plan would work, the bits of hope it would actually do some good, had settled in the pit of his stomach halfway through the event. Kimi had glanced and even smiled at him.  
Now Sebastian wasn’t so sure anymore.   
He had lost Kimi, so there was no use in lingering around at the event. Alone, he left.  
The German was at the exit of the paddock when his phone went off. Seeing Kimi’s name appear on the screen, made his heart jump. “Where are you at?”

Hurrying his way back to the hall Sebastian could barely control himself. Kimi wanted to see him so he must have felt the need to talk to him just as much.  
The blond stood waiting at the exit. Sebastian walked up to him before squeaking a small ‘hey’. Kimi replied with the same word in a flatter tone.   
The whole walk to the hotel was quiet. Sebastian had apologized after a while. Kimi did the same as they agreed words that weren’t true had been said. It was more spite than anything. It wasn’t until they were in the hallway of their hoterooms that Kimi began to talk. “You know, I wanted to hate you. You and all your idiot antics I wanted to get rid off.” Sebastian stared at the floor, letting the Finn finish.   
“Yet,” A bit of hope sprung alive in Sebastian. “I never could. All I’ve been thinking about since we parted was you.” Kimi took a hold of his lover’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “The team doesn’t want us together. That much is clear. I simply do not care though. I don’t know how I’ll feel in a few years. I only know that right now this feels good. I need you in my life. I love you too much to let you go.” He pulled Sebastian close, kissing him hard. The German couldn’t believe it. Did he imagine this all? The plan worked! He was going to text Daniel a quick thanks the moment he entered his room.   
“I love you so much.” Sebastian whispered as they parted. “I want you too.”  
Kimi smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. “You have me, Sebby. You always will.”


End file.
